


We Gonna Fight 'Til It's Over

by allietheepic7



Series: Untraveled Road Universe [6]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Brothers, Deadpool Thought Boxes, Deadpool is a potty mouth, Deadpool wears teddy bear boxers, Gen, curse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-19
Updated: 2015-05-19
Packaged: 2018-03-31 07:13:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3969107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allietheepic7/pseuds/allietheepic7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry's First Day of School<br/>aka How Deadpool got Harry into Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Gonna Fight 'Til It's Over

Deadpool was killing someone for the first time in months.

He had missed it. He had missed the gun in his hand and the glorious smell of gunpowder. He’d missed the thrill of tracking down his prey. He had missed—

[You’re not fooling anyone.]

What?

[Everyone knows that you’re ranting about assassination to get your mind off Harry going to school for the first time.]

{You’re still in your boxers, moping around the apartment. It’s kinda pathetic.}

“Shut up,” Wade growled as he scratched his crotch. Alright, so he was killing anyone. That doesn’t mean he wasn’t any less intimidating—

{You’re wearing teddy bear boxers.}

Deadpool groaned in frustration, but before he could properly chastise/yell at Yellow, his cellphone rang. “Yellow?” He answered, purposely mispronouncing the greeting.

“Hello, Mr.…Wilson?” A woman spoke on the other side.

“Mr. Wilson’s my asshole dad. Call me Wade.”

“Uh…Wade…” The Merc could hear papers shifting in the background. “I’m the secretary at New York Elementary—”

“Is Harry alright?” Wade demanded turned from relaxed to tense in a millisecond. His hand creeped into the cushions of his armchair to wrap around a semi-automatic.

“Oh, n-no, he’s alright. It’s just…he got into some trouble today and the principal needs to see you.” Wade blinked. How did Harry manage to get in trouble on his first day?

{I’m so proud.}

[We’ve taught him well.]

“Okay, I’ll be there soon,” Deadpool said and hung up before looking around for his clothes. “Where the hell are my pants!?”

 **Timeskip**!

“I hate it when she does that,” the Merc muttered with a shudder. He was apparently outside his brother’s school, dressed in jeans, a hoodie, and sunglasses over his…bare face. “I’m going to kill her for this.”

Deadpool entered the school and found the office with ease. The secretary, a mousey blonde who stared at him with large, terrorified eyes, pointed him towards the principal. Wade nodded uncomfortably and tried to pull his hood completely over his scarred face. The author was soooo going to pay.

The principal was a large man who probably ate kids with his pedo-stache mouth. Harry sat in a cheap, plastic chair while the man’s fat ass hung over the sides of his faux-leather recliner. This, plus the telltale signs of crying on Harry’s face, made Wade hate the man immediately. “Mr. Wilson?” he asked even though he had to know who he was.

Wade nodded and placed a hand of Harry’s back. “What happened?”

“Your son—”

“Brother.” Deadpool interrupted. “We’re brothers.”

“Right…” the fat ass drawled. “Your brother has been a destructive presence in this school since he arrived his morning.”

{I call bullshit. It’s like 11 o’clock!}

“How so?” Wade asked, decided to ignore his yellow box for the moment.

“He refused to play with any of his classmates, barely ate during snack time, and threw glue at his teacher!”

“None of this seems like something to call me about.” The Merc watched as his baby brother sank into his seat in shame. “I was doing something important.”

[You were watching Les Mis.]

{Les Mis is important! Viva la France!}

The principal eyed Harry with a smug, piggy expression. “And the little brat set snakes on another student!” Harry flinched.

[OH NO, HE DIDN’T!]

{NOT OUR BRO, BITCH.}

Wade kneeled in front of him. “Hare?” he prompted.

Harry shuffled. “He was teasing a girl…and none of the snakes were poisonous. I asked.”

Wade wanted to throw a snake at Mr. Pig Ass for the look of disgust he was giving his Hare-Bear. “As you can see, Mr. Wilson,” he said. “Harry is a very disruptive force.

We can’t afford to have him in our school.”

“You mean you can’t afford to have a mutant in your school.” Wade sneered and the principal flinched.

“W-well, some of the parents were concerned—”

{Told you. Fucking bullshit.}

“And he could hurt the other kids—”

“He speaks to snakes!” Wade snapped, slamming his hands on the desk. “It’s not like he fucking shits fire!”

The principal began to turn an odd reddish blue. “We will not have this freak in our school!”

Wade lunged across the desk and grabbed the asshat by his shirt collar. “You listen to me, you fat tub of lard,” Deadpool growled. “If you ever call my baby brother that again, I will skin you with a butter knife and wear it as a suit.”

[Oh, nice imagery.]

{Almost as nice as carving out his heart with a spoon.}

Deadpool threw the pig down in disgust as a piss stain grew on its pants. He turned to Harry, who was staring at him with awe. “I’m taking Harry out of this school,” Wade told the terrorified man. “You have 2 days to send Harry’s file to the address inside it, and if you ever inform anyone of my brother’s mutation…I’ll be back.” Wade picked Harry up and strode confidently out of the building.

[I’m impressed. You didn’t kill him.]

{You’re use of Terminator references has served you well, young Padawan.}

As they left the school, Harry tugged on Wade’s sweatshirt. “Wade?” he asked, chewing nervously on his Spidey hoodie’s sleeve, a habit he did whenever he was scared. “Am I in trouble?”

“Never, Hare-Bear,” Wade said. “Though Spidey’s gonna be disappointed. Mostly at me, so nothing to worry about.”

“Oh.” Harry nuzzled into his neck. “Where am I gonna go to school now?”

Wade gazed down at his little brother and felt a lightbulb go off. Digging out his phone, the Merc with a Mouth called one of the few people who didn’t block his number.

“Yo, Wolvie! It’s me, Deadpool! Say, that school you work at wouldn’t be against taking in a 6 year old, would it?”

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Drunk and late to the party, the plot finally arrives.


End file.
